EPL August 27th

Alright chaps, listen up. I just moved back to college, and as a result I do not have a ton of time to run over all the possibilities of this week’s football action. Let’s get to this quickly and succinctly. Also, since I am impersonating a British person for the week, let me just say: colour, favourite, “that’s pants” (look it up), and kiss my arse.

Transfer News

Joey Barton to QPR. Newcasle is somewhat screwed, like the move for QPR, lot of places would have been lucky to have Barton even though he is a blibbering tit. That’s right, I’m taking this British stuff seriously.

Ade will get to know the other side of North London

Samir Nasri to Manchester City. Sweet, another player City don’t really need! Sucks to be an Arsenal fan though, eh? Poor Adam Johnson may never see the pitch at the Eastlands again.

Emmanuel Adebayor to Tottenham Hotspur. He usually murders Spurs, bot ol’ ‘Arry and the chaps needed a striker and he is bloody perfect for them. Great pairing with Van Der Vaart.

Juan Mata to Chelsea. Like the move to add a bit of pace and creativity to a side that lacks both at times. Interesting to see how AVB fits him in.

Last Week’s Games

Scrapping the “Best X” format this week, but let’s get to some important points. Chelsea were very lucky to get all 3 points from WBA and need to start improving fast. Playing Norwich this week ought to help. Arsenal, once again, looked bad, even at midweek at times, and now get to face Manchester United. Looking a just one solitray point after 3 games and Arsene’s seat is getting awfully hot. Most of the other games went as expected, though Wolves went out and made me look good again by palying well. Although I did not pick them last week, I am fully behind the Wolves bandwagon to show the Premiership a little something this season.

I actually did pretty well with my picks (7/10) but will not be keeping track simply because I have neither the time not the interest to do so. Let’s look at the week’s upcoming features quickly so we can sneak in some Champions League talk as well.

This Week in the EPL (Home team listed first)

Aston Villa vs Wolves

This is a derby if I am not mistaken and both teams have shown pretty well as of late. I am tempted to go draw, but I doubt either side would want the Derby to go down as a draw so I have Wolves picking up a 2-1 victory on their rival’s ground.

Blackburn vs Everton

Yawn. Blackburn is not good, and Everton is bad early on. Give me a 1-1 draw with neither side impressing.

I will let you guess which one is Chelsea

Chelsea vs Norwich

Hide your kids, hide your wife. One of two things will happen and both will mean you should be running and/or hiding. Either Chelsea runs Norwich off the pitch to the tune of 4-0, or it stays close and the Chelsea fans run their own team off the pitch. I have the former going down after Norwich was knocked from the Carling Cup and now must go to Stamford Bridge for a formal spanking.

Liverpool vs Bolton

Tough couple of matchdays for Bolton, eh? City and Liverpool on the road is a pretty rough combo, but Bolton have to go in and try to keep it close against a Liverpool side that is surely feeling good after taking out Arsenal last week. Give me Liverpool 3-1.

Wigan vs QPR

Not sure here, but let’s go with Barton and his new side dumping Wigan. As a friend said, Barton can be the steel to Taarabt’s silk and hopefully bring the best out of both. QPR 1-0.

Swansea vs Sunderland

Sunderland are pretty damn decent. Swansea look pretty decent but do not look likely to score, especially against a defense as class as Sunderland’s. The Black Cats claw the Swans on their home ground 2-0.

Manchester United vs Arsenal

One has looked good so far, the other has not. Will that change this week? Not bloody likely. United take it 2-0. Arsene is staying but is certainly doing himself no favors by holding onto his cash. Still the game of the week.

WBA vs Stoke

Give me West Brom here as it is not at the Brittania where Stoke are impossible to beat. WBA has actually been pretty solid against United and Chelsea and now get to play a team much closer to their own skill level. Should mean a good result.

Tottenham vs Manchester City

Like the Adebayor loan switch but I doubt he will be allowed to play against his owning club so Tottenham, even for all their attacking power and prowess will have a hard time finding a goal in this one. I think they can find one, but it will be too late. City 2-1. Maybe 3-1 if it is a bad day for Spurs.

Newcastle vs Fulham

Newcastle just lost its best player, Fulham need a bounce back after losing to Wolves. I like Fulham’s chances of winning the game, but I think Newcastle can hang on for a game without their best player and Fulham get loads of draws as it is. 1-1.

REVIEW

  • Aston Villa 1-2 Wolves
  • Blackburn 1-1 Everton
  • Chelsea 4-0 Norwich
  • Liverpool 3-1 Bolton
  • Wigan 0-1 QPR
  • Swansea 0-2 Sunderland
  • Man Utd 2-0 Arsenal
  • WBA 1-0 Stoke
  • Tottenham 1-2 Man City
  • Newcastle 1-1 Fulham
Champions League Wrap Up and Draw
Anyway, Villarreal reversed their Danish defeat and Arsenal held their ground against Udinese Calcio. Other than that, nothing much of note happened.

#vamossubmarino

Group to Watch: Group A
This is a group of death, and while the casual EPL viewer will not know a ton about Villarreal or Napoli, and will jsut have a general idea of Bayern Munich, this is clearly the Group of Death. Villarreal are sort of like a bizarro version of on-form Arsenal, but on a budget. They have a handful of world class players, play really attractive football, and score quite a bit. Napoli is a very solid side that usually does well in the Italian Seria A and yet they are the clear favorites (in my mind) to finish fourth in this group. City and Munich are the favorites to win the group but I would not be at all surprised to see Villarreal slip into the Knockout stages. It would take a little luck but it could absolutely happen. Extremely strong group that should turn out some fantastic football.
Weakest Group: Group G
Porto is pretty good, but Shakhtar and Zenit wouldn’t be very scary to play if they did not play so well in Ukraine and Russia respectively. Group B deserves a mention as well, becuase Lille has been forced to sell many of their players, but I think they can still be solid and make that an exciting group. Most of the other groups have a clear top 2 and bottom two. These have a top 1 with 3 mediums and that still gets them weakest group. That’s just the nature of the Champions League and how good the teams in the competition are.
Predictions (1st, 2nd)
Group A: Manchester City, Villarreal (homer pick and I realize that Bayern will probably grab this spot)
Group B: Inter Milan, CSKA Moscow (Interesting group to watch)
Group C: Manchester United, Benfica (whould be a very boring group)
Group D: Real Madrid, Lyon (I expect no surprises here)
Group E: Chelsea, Valencia (Valencia will squeak by as they have lost many of their best players but can outlast Leverkeusen)
Group F: Marseille, Arsenal (Yes, Arsenal makes it through, just not in first)
Group G: Porto, Zenit St. Petersburg
Group H: Barcelona, Milan (Yawner of a group as far as who advances)
Have a good weekend, chaps!
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